my heart only breaks when it's beating
Oct. 7th, 2010 05:18 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
rightanglesNot too much to report.
My sleeping schedule is super-off lately. I've been going to bed at seven or so and waking up at four. This will change soon, because this weekend is going to be Hell. I have the GRE to take at 8:30 in the morning on Saturday, which means I need to wake up at 6:00, and then I work Sunday morning. Fun fun fun!
I bought Beauty and the Beast on Blu-Ray today. Haven't watched it yet, but I did put it in just to see the difference between regular and Blu-Ray... it's pretty amazing. So is Beauty and the Beast, of course. But yeah, Blu-Ray is totally worth it.
Krystal has informed me of a job opening at her company. It's for a copy editor. Literally every single requirement or suggestion of "preferred quality" on the ad is something I can offer. It pays at least $15 an hour, it's nearby but far enough away that if I got the job I could theoretically get my own apartment closer to Pittsburgh, it has full benefits and paid time off, and it's in a field (editing) that is something I think I'd actually like doing. Plus, Krystal works there, and she said it's a smaller company, so she's going to talk to Ellie in HR and see what she can do.
You may think this is a good thing, but it's not. Because now I want to get the job. And not only that, but it's like the moment I heard about it and decided to apply, an entire full-length future popped into my mind, fully formed and dressed in battle gear like Athena out of Zeus's head. You know, happy job, cute apartment, living close enough to visit the parents on the weekends but far enough away that I don't have to be with them every day, with my own finances and a new set of friends and maybe a boyfriend or a cat or even both. It's just so hard, because I develop these fantasies, and they never come true, and I'm going to apply and then when I don't even get a call back for an interview, it's going to devastate me and I'm going to feel rejected and worthless... which is bad, considering I also have to do grad applications soon, which is just a whole nother slew of rejection coming next year.
Sigh. I guess this is life.
Anyway, my mom said not to tell anyone about the job so I don't jinx it, but I'm bad at keeping secrets. Wish me luck.
My sleeping schedule is super-off lately. I've been going to bed at seven or so and waking up at four. This will change soon, because this weekend is going to be Hell. I have the GRE to take at 8:30 in the morning on Saturday, which means I need to wake up at 6:00, and then I work Sunday morning. Fun fun fun!
I bought Beauty and the Beast on Blu-Ray today. Haven't watched it yet, but I did put it in just to see the difference between regular and Blu-Ray... it's pretty amazing. So is Beauty and the Beast, of course. But yeah, Blu-Ray is totally worth it.
Krystal has informed me of a job opening at her company. It's for a copy editor. Literally every single requirement or suggestion of "preferred quality" on the ad is something I can offer. It pays at least $15 an hour, it's nearby but far enough away that if I got the job I could theoretically get my own apartment closer to Pittsburgh, it has full benefits and paid time off, and it's in a field (editing) that is something I think I'd actually like doing. Plus, Krystal works there, and she said it's a smaller company, so she's going to talk to Ellie in HR and see what she can do.
You may think this is a good thing, but it's not. Because now I want to get the job. And not only that, but it's like the moment I heard about it and decided to apply, an entire full-length future popped into my mind, fully formed and dressed in battle gear like Athena out of Zeus's head. You know, happy job, cute apartment, living close enough to visit the parents on the weekends but far enough away that I don't have to be with them every day, with my own finances and a new set of friends and maybe a boyfriend or a cat or even both. It's just so hard, because I develop these fantasies, and they never come true, and I'm going to apply and then when I don't even get a call back for an interview, it's going to devastate me and I'm going to feel rejected and worthless... which is bad, considering I also have to do grad applications soon, which is just a whole nother slew of rejection coming next year.
Sigh. I guess this is life.
Anyway, my mom said not to tell anyone about the job so I don't jinx it, but I'm bad at keeping secrets. Wish me luck.
no subject
on 2010-10-07 12:21 pm (UTC)